Today would have been Bubba’s 40th birthday.
Which is still weird to say in past tense.
Bubba was a lot of things—funny, caring, loyal to a fault, and just reckless enough to keep things interesting. He had a way of making people feel like they mattered, especially his family. That never changed, no matter where he was in his life.
We had our ups and downs over the years. There were times we were close, and times we weren’t talking much at all. Life, choices, all of it… it complicates things. But when he was trying—really trying—he showed up. And those are the versions of him I hold onto.
The last time I saw him my girls and I were in Ohio visiting my mom and Tim over Spring Break and it was his birthday. He had just gotten off of work and he came over to my mom’s to visit with us. I had grabbed him some Twisted Teas for his birthday because that is what his favorite drink at the time. We sat on the back deck just catching up like we had all the time in the world.
He was talking about coming down to Georgia for Memorial Day weekend to help me with some remodeling. He was really good with that sort of stuff, he had a real talent.
The last time we talked, we FaceTimed, as we had been done at least once a week. He was excited about a motorcycle he had just bought and couldn’t wait to show me. He was planning to get his license. He had things he was looking forward to.
There were always things he was looking forward to. He was up for just about anything anyone wanted to do. I don’t think there is anything that he wouldn’t do if someone asked him.
I find myself wondering what he’d be doing today at 40. How would he celebrate his 40th birthday? I’m sure his friends would have had something fun planned.
I know our mom would be proud of him. No matter what was going on, he always made sure she was okay. He would do anything for her. That was just who he was.
And my girls… they loved their Uncle Bubba. Still do. My favorite picture of him is with them, because it’s exactly how I want to remember him—present, relaxed, in between pool games and probably making everyone laugh. No distractions, no chaos, just him being present and enjoying family.
Bubba also had a long-standing relationship with fire. Not in a responsible, kind of way. More like… if there was a flame, he was probably adding gasoline to it.
And just to keep things balanced—he wasn’t always the troublemaker. There was at least one time I had him pinned down in the front yard because he was trying to listen to our mom instead of me. And when he tried to tattle, he somehow still ended up the one in trouble.
He wasn’t perfect.
But he was my brother.
And I miss him.
Happy Heavenly Birthday Bubba!