Ninety days of sobriety turned into months, and somewhere along the way I realized something important:
Sobriety isn’t just a decision.
It’s a daily choice.
And sometimes that choice hits you right in the face… literally.
A couple of months ago, I was in Washington, D.C. for a conference. The agenda made one thing very clear: every evening included dinner and an open bar.
An open bar that felt like it had my number saved.
Day one started with an optional pre-workshop for those of us who flew in early. When the session ended, I stepped out of the conference room and—boom—trays of wine were circulating through the hallway like a coordinated attack.
It felt like I had walked into a live demonstration of:
“How Fast Can We Trigger Tiffany?”
For one tiny second — and I mean tiny — that old reflex kicked in.
The muscle memory.
The “this used to be my solution for every feeling I didn’t want to deal with.”
And the feeling this time?
Social anxiety.
Being out of my comfort zone.
Wanting something to take the edge off.
Wanting that old “social lubricant” that made conversations easier and silence less awkward.
And this is the part people don’t understand unless they’ve lived it:
Walking past that wine was hard.
Really hard.
Do I miss the taste sometimes? Sure.
Did I want to calm my social anxiety? Absolutely.
Does that old version of me still whisper, “One drink won’t hurt”?
Yes.
But I didn’t pick up a glass.
Not one.
I kept walking.
Past the trays.
Past the crowd.
Past the “old me” who would’ve blended right in and called it networking.
I walked up those stairs and out of that building like I was escaping a hostage situation.
Dramatic? Absolutely.
Necessary? 100%.
And the whole time, in the back of my mind, I could hear the voices that anchor me.
My man — who has been patient with me in moments I couldn’t even be patient with myself.
My girls — who watch everything I do, even when I think they aren’t paying attention.
They’re my reason for this.
They’re who I want to look at me one day and see strength in.
So when I got back to my hotel room, how did I celebrate?
Did I hit the gym?
Do deep breathing?
Stretch? Meditate? Journal affirmations?
Please.
I ordered fries.
Room service fries.
My guilty pleasure.
My “I’m trying to be good but I also deserve something” comfort food.
And you know what?
I don’t regret it one bit.
Because the win that day wasn’t choosing the healthiest option.
The win was choosing the hardest one.
The one that said, “Not today.”
The one that kept me sober.
The one that honored the promise I made to myself and my family.
I was proud of me — even if my carb intake was questionable.
Recovery doesn’t always look pretty.
It doesn’t always look disciplined or Pinterest-board worthy.
Sometimes recovery looks like walking away before you slip.
Sometimes it looks like stepping outside into cold air just to breathe.
And yes — sometimes it looks like ordering fries in a hotel room because that’s what keeps you from choosing something worse.
In Part 1, I told you there was no dramatic rock bottom.
Just a quiet decision to be done.
This was the proof that the quiet decision is still holding.
Progress isn’t perfect.
Progress is forward.
And if Part 1 was about choosing to stop…
Part 2 is about choosing to keep going.
Lowkey losing it sometimes?
Sure.
But not losing myself anymore.
